365 of 365.

2113 hours: Hey guys, it's New Year's Eve! Yeap, you guys guessed it. I'm at home alone with my maid only. My parents have line dance jamming while my brother's out with his friends. I'm fine, really. Not really jealous or anything. Staying at home is nice, too. I'm not joking just to cover my sadness or whatever. Sure, partying and all those countdown outside looks like fun but staying at home and preparing for the new year is okay too. All those social stuff can come next time when I finally have a driving's licence, right?

I spent my morning doing some tuition homework, reorganised my tuition books and prepared some stuff for school that's starting on the 2nd of January! I'm kind of excited for school to reopen. Kind of. Everything will sweep by in a blur and when you know it, Chinese New Year will be here. Then I can wear all my new clothes already hahaha. But, y'know la. Some clothes in my closet, I've never even touched before. Buy and didn't wear. Girls, kan? Heh. 

I started my new diet officially yesterday. A sudden thought when I was shopping in Sunway Pyramid with my mum last Saturday made me want to lose weight. I have a thermos right next to me right now that's filled with chinese tea hahah. Only water and chinese tea is allowed to drink during my diet hahah. I'm in this for the long-run. Really. I resisted all the temptations when I went to the Setia Alam Pasar Malam that day. I also resisted the tasty fried "hae kor" and only ate the bihun. I ate salad yesterday and scrambled eggs with wholemeal bread today. Just now dinner also bayam soup with fish meat and tofu. It's not easy, but I can really feel the strength course through me. I want to do this. I'm going to continue with my exercises. Running on the spot, stationary cycling and sit-ups. I really wanna do this. :)

Across 2013, and at the edge of it, I still feel like I have no friends. That sad feeling, really. Halfway through the year, I told myself I can do stuffs on my own. Friends are not really important. Then now, I suddenly realise, I don't want to continue friend-less anymore. Life is tough. I want to share stories with my friends. I want to care more about them. I realise now why I have so less friends: I have attitude problem. I'm bad-tempered, self-opinionated, and inconsiderate. I'm not saying I'm all bad, but I do have my downside. I want to start to smile more. Be a better friend - and a better person - to all. No one says this is gonna be easy, but I'm going to try. I really miss my friends. 

Of course all of you know, I was in my first relationship this year, but my blog don't know so bear with me, okay? I guess my brother was right. When we went on our first date in Setia City Mall, he went back with his parents and I had dinner with my brother. My brother actually guessed right that I went dating hahah. Then my brother told me, “是这样的。前面前面你当然很爽，因为你第一次吗。第一次有人对你说他喜欢你，你一定很开心的吗。中学的恋爱就是谈来拿经验的。去谈啦。” Of course, that time I told him that mine will be different. Mine will last forever. I believe in that and went on to be in a relationship with him. We were happy in the first few days, for sure. We text, we talked. I didn't know what happened, but I smiled often from then on. When I'm in class, I'll just suddenly get a goofy grin on my face and my friends will just look at me like I'm crazy. I wanted that to last forever, and I had faith that it would. I trust that any problem can be resolve, just as long as we still love each other and we talk it out. When I get jealous, I tell him. When I'm busy, I tell him. When I'm sad, I tell him. I slowly begin to realise, he wasn't doing the same. I start to ask him, was I doing something wrong? I apologised for being too clingy, but I only did what I had because we were together. I thought, as a couple, you were supposed to be there for one another, to share your likes and dislikes, how was your day and et cetera. He just answered me nonchalantly that he's fine. I wanted to trust him, so I did. I went on like how we were the first few days. Slowly we were almost to one month. My friends say the first month anniversary is very important! I became frantic. I didn't know what to do. I thought and rethought. I ended up making a card and brownies for him. On the day, he got down with a fever and wasn't able to come. I was miserable, but I told him it was okay. As long as he'll receive my gift on the day. Thank you, CBS for helping me to give him. I hoped he appreciated it. I took quite a long time to finish the card, but I didn't show a sign of tiredness, because I loved him. Matters became worse after that, I did not know how, or why. I wanted to clear things up with him, but he's a hard shell to crack. I ended up crying in tuition. I felt stupid, but I was really, really heartbroken. He became distant, I tried to be more patient and considerate. I tried giving him space, I tried to let him calm down. Then things became okay for a while, but I received a message one day from him about some girl in his tuition. As a normal person, of course I was jealous. I cried and I did not know what his intention was, so I just sat at my bed, thinking. He apologised and I thought things would get better, but it was all downhill after that. He complained to his friends, and acted okay in front of me. What was I supposed to do? I was tired of making any effort. I guess I didn't want it anymore. I'm not psychic. I don't know what he wants. I just wanted to know at least he is trying to better our situation, but I couldn't see it. I couldn't. When I tried one last time and asked him to tell me what happened, he shooed me away and to leave him alone. My heart shattered into pieces, because then, I realised this wasn't going to work anymore. No, not anymore. I told his friend that I think he wants to break up with me. I was dumbfounded by his answer when he replied, "Yea, I know." I thought hard and deep, and text him the next day, “我们分手吧。”

Now, almost 4 months after our breakup, I'm still bothered by what made him this way. I tried to find excuses as to why he became colder, but I couldn't come to a conclusion. You guys might say that I'm still not over him, but for me, I think I am. Although when I'm in tuition, I do catch myself looking at him sometimes, but I know it's because I wanted to know. I wanted to know why. One day, I found courage to text him and ask whether he was angry at me, but I chickened out again. I see him looking okay, but I saw that he's changed. I guess I did too, but I don't know about myself. He has moved on and I guess I should forget about finding out why he wanted me to leave him alone. It's going to be a new year, and although it's going to be a tough one with what SPM and the rushing of teachers to finish the syllabus, I want to make it a memorable one. I know I haven't been the greatest friend, but I really want to be a better one. I can't please everyone, but making people happy, I feel good too. 

I won't be starting my new year perfectly what with homework not done, books not completed, but I want to end it my next year, in a better way. I'm starting to mature and grow. I'm starting to be more open-minded, well at least I hope I am. I really wanna get my shit together. 

Thanks for the great year. Thanks for the experience. 
Thanks for giving me life.

People often complain about their feelings, about caring too much, about regrets and mistakes. I have long found out that I want it all: the good, the bad, the fortunes, the misfortunes, the happy, the sad. I want to experience all life has to offer. I want to experience heartbreaks, so I can taste love in a sweeter way. I want to experience failures, so I can learn how to try again. Of course, some things are better left untouched. I don't want to try throwing away my future. I don't want to try running away from home. I don't want to try cheating others. If people are going to do that to me, I have no power over it, but I am one that believe, everyone is kind-hearted. Some may call it foolish, but it's just easier that way, than to keep having your guards up and shy away from people. I've experienced disappointments because of expectations like this, but I still try to get over it. As hard as it seems, at least I know I will always have a home I can come back to. I'm thankful for all of this, and I will try to be wiser. I will try to differentiate the good and the bad. But on top of all that, I'm still a kid trying to live life the way that at the end of a day, I'll be able to say that my day was not wasted.

Thanks for reading.
If I'e offended any of you, no amount of sorry is enough.
But I'm just human and I hope you forgive me.
I wish all of you nothing but happiness galore.
Go out and make some one smile.
Do something that you would be proud of after decades.
Love people and cry when it is unrequited.
Accept compliments and stop rejecting them.
Put passion above work.
To say life is short, it is not. To say life is long, it is too, not.
But, you only have one shot at life.
Stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
Just live. :)

*我不是完美的，但我会好好的。

Meh Christmas Season.

1618 hours: I really didn't do a lot this festive season. You see yesterday Christmas night I also type blog post instead of doing other stuffs. Fact is, the things I should do, I don't while the things I shouldn't do, I also very lazy do. I think I'm gonna just slack away this one more week before school starts. At least I managed to buy a new school shoe for next year. If not later Pn. Kang nag me again when school reopens. Oh well, let's get on with more exciting stuffs from the past!

18/12/13 (Wednesday) Setia City Mall

Charlene, CBS, Ian and I went to watch Frozen and 扫毒! The night before only we settled the green light from all our parents hahah. Well, CBS didn't need permission for these things, so he special case ah. Mana tau suddenly in the morning while I was still sleeping at 8.30am, CBS called and said he accidentally booked wrong timing for Frozen, which was at 11.30pm wtf. He tried to book the 1pm tix but they were sold out, so... Ian's gramps was my transport and Ian could only go at 12pm, so we reached there around 12pm+ and straight went inside the cinema. Charlene would arrive late because she's eating at home and she watched Frozen already anyway. Actually, I was the only one among them that haven't watch it apparently. Oh well, can watch a bit better than not watching at all la. Besides, I paid good money for it okay. :3

Three of us went to eat lunch at Fullhouse after the movie. We each ordered our food separately and mana tau Ian and I ordered the same thing. /facepalm/ Apala him. Order different different ma. Can try other stuff. Then don't know macam mana, CBS ended up eating Ian's chicken and Ian ate finish CBS' fish dish. Gila - gila. There's only a few pictures from the day but, let's see 'em:

The two boys were fooling with my beanie before the food arrived. CBS took a picture of himself too but I think he deleted it hhahaha! Ugly like siao la this Ian don't know how to wear properly wth omg.

Ian wanted to take a picture of me on the couch then kena halau by CBS to sit with me and CBS took the picture for us hahaha.

I ordered this lovely Cappuccino hehehe.

It looks sorta' unappetizing here but it tastes quite good actually.

After eating lunch here, Ian suggested we ate dessert at Tong Pak Fu. I gaped at him in amazement. He's still not full?! I couldn't stuff one more thing down my throat omg and he still has room for dessert. CBS went along with his plan so three of us went inside the shop. Ian paid for the food because he still owe CBS the ticket money anyway. I didn't order anything because seriously, full like crazy.

CBS ordered a drink and Ian ordered this pink lady thing. Hahahahah!

Charlene came and join us here and after that we went to watch 扫毒! I tell you arh, this movie is really good! Like, seriously. I recommend all of you to watch. It really left me at the edge of my seat all through the thrill. My dad said it would've been better if there were no cutscenes. I couldn't find the cutscenes though. I guess it'll remain a mystery then. But seriously, this movie is good hahaha.

Ian went back after the movie because it was almost 6pm already when we came out of the cinema. The rest of us went to Starbucks and just sat down, talking.

CBS jadi paparazzi because x mau campir girl talk.

After that, CBS went back first, then Charlene, then only me. Okay la, at least we all reached home safely. Great movies!

Okay, the next chapter:

20/12/13 (Friday), MidValley Megamall

My mother took leave on that day so we could go have some girly shopping trip! Leggo~

#OOTD! Hehehehe. It looks sorta' weird but, that's me!

We ate at this homemade fish head noodle shop at the boulevard! I couldn't finish my dish though hehehe. Btw, this chicken thing is nice! I forgot what's it call in English but I think it's called, "tauchu"? Tastes good!

Midvalley had this event that if you tweet or insta a pic that you took with the decorations at the ground floor and hashtag #MidValleyNOW they will print out the photo immediately and you can take it back home so I kept trying to post it but to no avail. My phone mati battery lagi. Frustrated, man! Oh well, at least we took pictures with our phones. That's enough le la. Haish.

Selfie!

Selfie with mummie!

Deco at Mid Valley~

Deco at The Gardens~

Tired legs after shopping heheh.

I didn't capture until the stuffs I bought there heheh sorry. I remember I bought long pants and shirt gua. Hehehe, but memang got buy la. To the next day!

22/12/13 (Sunday), Kuala Lumpur

I had to type KL because we went different different places heheh. Firstly, we went to Pavillion! I told my dad when we were at The Mines that people say hor, Pavillion this year decorate until very nice orh. Then my dad was like, okay la next week we go. /pumps fist/ Muahahhaha. So, we went Pavillion lo last Sunday.
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I didn't managed to finish the post yesterday sorry because I became a bit ill and caught a cold so I bathe, ate dinner and slept. I woke up at 11pm to watch Chelsea's match and continued with Man City's match for the first half only. I woke up with fever lagi. It's okay, guys. I'm fine now. Let's continue, shall we?
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#OOTD ! We went inside Ben Sherman and it only sells man clothes so my mum and I just stood around while my dad was searching for clothes. Then when he went inside the fitting room, I asked my mum help me take the picture lo hahaha. I kept saying it looked weird but my mum said it's nice la haiyo. Y'know la, "mums"~ Hahaha. My dad eventually bought a shirt and a yellow chino pants. It made him look young! :3

Deco #1 White Christmas seems magical. I'd love to experience it at least once in my lifetime. :)

Deco #2 Rudolph must be angry since his job seems to be stolen by these two hahah.

Deco #3 Ground floor extravagant decos. O.o

Deco #4 Lego pine tree heheh.

Deco #5 Made entirely out of Legos!

Deco #6 I want this in my room. :3

Deco #7 That is one big bow. :O

That's all the Christmas-sy deco from Pavillion! Bored with decoration pictures only? Heheh, of course we took pictures of ourselves there la. Lai lai~

Hungry but still can pose de okay. :3

While waiting for mah food, trying out photography skills heheh.

Do you prefer what my parents ordered...

or my meal? :D

My legs look so long here! Wooh~

LINE Deco #1 I wanna take this back home la hahahha.

LINE Deco #2 Okay, sorry guys! I think the lens was foggy at that moment so the pictures will have a slight blur at the top right corner. :X

LINE Deco #3 Sigh... Looking at this... I miss huggie.

LINE Deco #4 Mind the face. I look like someone having a seizure attack lols wtf hahahha. You notice anything different about my outfit? The shoes! I changed them hahaha. Too painful edi the killer heels.

LINE Deco #5 Hahhahaha. Mummy looks so funny. :3

LINE Deco #6 That awkward moment when a cutout cat is sexier than you.

LINE Deco #7 Aww... Bunny! ^_^

LINE Deco #8 I guess Santa Claus changed a new look this year?

LINE Deco #9 It's winter la froggy. Not cold ah?

LINE Deco #10 I wouldn't mind them dropping by my house in the middle of the night.

Managed to take a picture with this cute bunny hehehe!

This cute bear too! Lucky because when I passed by there again, both of them were gone hahahah.

Pattern nia hahaha.

I love my parents. :)

Impressive origami. O.o

I wanna travel to Japan someday.

Holy shyt! He's alive!!!

Hahahaha. That's all the photos from Pavillion. There was this promotion about VISA credit card thing that if you spent RM1000 and above, you get to redeem a coffee maker for free. We memang spend until that much d so we went to take the coffee maker, and then put all the stuff we bought back at the car and went to walk outside of Pavillion hahah.

I saw this building and the cafe looks nice! I asked my dad and he said maybe it's new. I wanna try the cafe one day. :)

Decorations outside of Fahrenheit 88. :)

Do you think like this nicer...

or does it looks prettier lighted up? :)

The decorations in Sungei Wang. The difference with Pavillion is so damn much.

We took a break later and drank coffee! Buy one free one promo heheh.

Hahahaha. I love their funny quotes. :3

Lady in Green wanted a change.

That's all for photos from Bukit Bintang. We left at 7pm+ because one my parents' friends invited them to her house in Bangar for a somewhat Christmas party. I waited in the car for them to change into their social clothes and we left for her house.

This is the house. It's nice. :)

This is what I call a Christmas tree.

This cheesecake tastes so good omg.

An area specially for desserts. Gosh.

They ordered 3 lambs and damn, it's nice hahahah. (Sorry a bit blur)

They gave these away as door gifts. It's chocolate inside, I think. I haven't open mine yet hahaha. 

That's it for the Christmas party at their house. I didn't post any of the group photos because there's nothing much la. Just aunties wearing clothes that's not even legal for their daughter. Oh my god. You're old. Stop showing off your freaking boobies. /facepalm/

Back to me. Of course I bought stuffs home la! 3 items actually hehehe. I very guai right? 3 things only. :3

I've been hunting for skinny jeans for a while d and finally I have one now! My mum said since dad is here you better buy if not next time don't call me buy I no money hahahaha. Okay okay. Thanks dad! Thanks mum! :D 

I've been searching for a leather jacket this exact same colour for so friggin' long already oh my gosh! I finally spot it in one of the shops in Sungei Wang hehehe. Happy days~

 




I don't know what's with me and leather stuff suddenly hahaha. I like the batik-style plastic bag they have there though. 

Oh, finally! Done with that day! Just one more okay? Bear with me.

24/12/13 (Tuesday), Setia City Mall

My dad suddnely said wanna go watch tha Jackie Chan movie, Police Story. I thought movies only come out on Thursday but my parents say Jackie Chan special, 24th come out lols okay let's go with that hahah. So I tukar baju and we reached there around 9pm. We straight went to the cinema and saw that 9.10pm was one show but left the front row only so we decided to watch the 11.30pm one and mana tau also left front row only. Then my father said watch another movie la and chose Captain Phillips. The latest show for it was 12am so my father didn't want it anymore. We think and think and decided to just watch it tomorrow so we booked Police Story at 11.45am on 25th. 

We bought 4 tickets; dad, mum, bro and me. :)

So, after leaving sadly away from the ticketing counter,my dad said let's go drink tea or something so we went out to the boulevard and walked around, and decided to eat something at Kissaten because my dad wants to eat the Char Siew pizza lols hahaha. We sat outside because inside too many people d I think. 

So they get to sit the sofa la now? No fair sia.

My mum's cup of Cappuccino. You think this coffee art nicer or Fullhouse's?

My dad say want drink tea, mana tau order beer. /facepalm/

My Iced Chocolate and Tiramisu cake! :D

The Char Siew pizza hahha. It does tastes good though. :)

This Pepper Boxing my dad ordered is freaking delicious la omg! I'm feeling so hungry after so many food photos ugh.

My mum was like you guys very geng hor? Eat dinner already still can eat so much. Hahahaha. Malaysian mah! After eating we went walking around near the field there and took some photos. 

I think it's their first time walking outside of the shopping mall and enjoying the view outdoors.

I need my solo shot too! :3

Then after that we went back edi lo. I reached home and then type blog post edi. Nothing much for Christmas season this year. The next day we went to watch Police Story and came back. The movie is nice but I prefer 扫毒 hahaha. You guys should watch both and make your own comparison. In my opinion, both are worth the watch. :)

By the way, here's a pic of a cat that stopped by to take a rest on the porch of my house that depicts Facebook photos hahahah:

Profile Picture

Tagged Photos hahaha

I like this edited one more though. 

Okay. Done with this blog post d. I think it's even longer than the previous one. About New Year's Eve, I'm most probably gonna be stuck at home with my maid at night. My parents have this dancing party and my brother is of course going out with his friends. I guess I'll be watching stupid shows on the television or if I'm hardworking, do something productive instead. Okay guys, thanks for reading! 

Bye.

*The last year of no-driver's-licence celebrations.