ol' Nougan Being ol' Nougan

I've changed my playlist into another language. Last time's was in English, then Mandarin & Cantonese so now I put Korean songs instead. A few, you guys might have heard from Korean dramas; I only find the Korean OSTs are good nowadays. The new Korean groups are just, not what they're used to be. I don't know about you guys but, last time, there used to be more talent. Especially in their singing skills. The last time I heard, there was mostly just auto tune and some mediocre dance steps.

I remember listening to Tohoshinki's songs and shrieking out the lyrics with my brothers. It's been quite some time... I guess I miss the times when my big brother was still here and we would just do some siblings stuff like sneaking downstairs and watch Tohoshinki's concert, or just fighting like crazy people hahaha. I know sometimes we might get mad at each other but, 血浓于水 is really true. We grew up together in a comfortable terrace house, we had toys which most of those had disappeared sometime back when we played with them, our parents earned sufficient money to keep us growing healthily and I appreciate all these little little moments. 

I admit my parents are just old fashioned and traditional-minded as another typical Chinese parents would be, but at least they do not abuse us. They loved us with all of their heart and only wished the best for us. I'm as typical as any other teenager; I will go through the my-parents-just-don't-seem-to-understand-me phase. All this while, they have to cope with my teen angst and so-called burden. They might complain at times, but with the load they're carrying each and every day, they deserve better than whiny kids that throw tantrums just to put extra weight on their shoulders.

I know that I have the ability to put that smile on their faces with excellent academic results, but I just can't overcome the teen in me that taught me procrastination. Laziness grows in me and it feeds off me. I let it be. I deteriorate day by day. I'm matured enough to comprehend that change is needed but am also childish enough to just stay oblivious. One day, that naivety will fade away. I know it. Everyone has to grow up someday. I just hope that when it happens, it will not be too late.

For now, I just wish to hold on to that last bit of innocence left in me. That pure core of mine before it was polluted by reality's darkness. Some might call in growing up, I guess that's it. Learning to adapt to the world's cruelness is one way to protect ourselves from unnecessary harm. But then, in another point of view, shouldn't we experience all of these that life offers? To live life to the fullest, shouldn't we, too face with life's bitterness? If we've never beset with such pain, we would not be able to taste happy situations like how it should've tasted: the sweetest taste.

People say that life is just like a rollercoaster: there will always be ups and downs. Even so, some humans are just too close-minded to grasp that life will only be perfect with all the bittersweet imperfections. That's what make living more meaningful. We wish to stand out and be useful beings to the society next time. I guess all our aim, as civilised humans, we want to leave our print on Earth before we die. We want to have impacted another person, changed them for the better and when we look back, we would be able to say, "I've had a long journey and i have helped others along the way. I am happy".

I may sometimes think, "Wow, I'm actually already sixteen years old. That's kinda' old," but look around you. Your parents have lived on this planet longer than us for so long. They've been through obstacles and fought through hardships. We have yet to experience all that life has to offer. We sulk at where we are now, at what we're undergoing through, but we don't know what the future has in store for us. It's okay for us to feel this way: remember, live life like how it's meant to be.

We may not be the next Albert Einstein or the next Neil Armstrong but as long as our conscience is clear, we can walk each day of our life feeling guilty-free. The impression we leave may be small, but that small effect can affect one's whole life. 

After all of this typing, will I still go back to being gullible and the typical teen with angst and bad temper? Well, of course. I'm still not done with being a sulky teenager. Hahah... I want to remember myself as an original, not a copy. Pain will change us, or so I heard. We will step into society like a wounded creature. We start to encounter various difficulties set for us in life when we hit our teens. Well, guess what? It's just the beginning, guys.

Some past, we will never forget. The memories we hold so dearly to us, no matter how miserable or how joyful we'd been through, let's not erase them, aite? At least when we look back at how bittersweet our route has been, it was never meaningless. It shaped us to what we are. The decisions we make now will become our future. But hey, it's our future. Never forget, this is OUR life.

Then again, I'm just your average girl-next-door teen that thinks about these stuff. Who am I to type out stupid, childish opinions, right? Hahah... I'm still, after all, a normal being that wishes to stand out once in a while. Wanting to be heard. I would rather a plentiful of sugar and spice than dull ol' black and white. 

As quotes go by, 

What is life, if full of care
We have no time to stand and stare.
-Leisure, by W. H. Davies

There's one line in Elvis Presley's song that I like very much:

Regrets; I've had a few,but then again too few to mention.             -My Way, Elvis Presley

后悔一定会有，但是就不要因为一点点的失败而放弃了自己。你知道吗？讽刺的事，我不知道自己办得到吗。我只不过是一个还想继续幼稚的小孩。什么人生大道理，全都只是一些人的句子。让自己也写下一些句子吧。

*When light is gone, find matches.